Fit & Active October: Changing My Perspective.

Last year, a group of bloggers organized "Fit and Active September."  At that point, I wasn't ready to participate in any fitness-related group activities (even blogging), so I am glad that Sophie over at Two Cakes on a Plate decided to bring it back for October 2014.  You see, in the past, talking about health has sent me on a downward spiral.  I've always had a very disordered relationship with food and exercise.  Whenever I started eating healthfully or going to the gym, my motivation was always simply to be thin enough, because I thought being thin was expected of people in order to be accepted... and, to be honest, in many cases it is, which is part of the problem; expecting a certain appearance from people doesn't help them stay healthy or lose weight (if weight loss is what they actually need to achieve for health.  You can't know that for sure if you don't observe their daily habits, and unless you're living with them, doing so would be, um, creepy and probably illegal?).

I had an eating disorder in college, and although it never got to the point of hospitalization or feeding tubes, it drastically affected the way I viewed exercise.  Exercise was for burning calories. It started out as an activity to burn calories from the burger, fries, and coke I had for dinner last night.  Then it turned into burning calories from that sandwich I had for lunch.  Then I needed to burn calories from the 2 egg whites and half a turkey sausage I ate for breakfast.  It was so exhausting that I finally decided simply not to consume more than 1000 calories a day.  I was proud of myself when they added up to 800, devastated if I ever had a day that came close to 1500.

Exercise was a chore that only indicated when I'd done something bad to deserve it.  And (full disclosure) it never occurred to me to think about it any other way until only recently.  One reason I began this blog was in the hopes that I could help people from falling into the same spiral of guilt, shame, and body hatred with which I've struggled.  I never imagined that it would open me up to a community of wonderful, vibrant women and men who can balance being body positive with trying to be healthy on their own terms.  They've all had their struggles and setbacks, but I've been encouraged by their attitudes to think of exercise not in terms of calories burned or even in terms of how it makes my body look, but in terms of how it makes my body strong.  How it helps aches and pains and endurance and posture.

I decided to get a Y membership and only do exercise that I enjoyed.  I promised myself that if it felt too much like work, I would find something else.  That isn't to say I wouldn't extend my limitations and push myself at all; I just wouldn't allow exercise to become my job.  I felt dread when I thought about returning to do the elliptical.  I found lifting weights monotonous.  Pilates was OK, but I knew I needed to build up a bit of strength first in order to really reap the benefits of it. Finally, I went to yoga one day and a dance class the next.  And when the time for yoga and then the time for dance came around again, I was excited about going.  I love almost any and all music, and dancing around to it makes getting my heart rate up fun rather than grueling.  With yoga, I've already seen a significant decrease in back pain, and I can use my abdominal muscles to hold me up without slouching (much) without it hurting.  My weight and outward appearance haven't changed, at least noticeably, but I feel good.

I'm planning on doing one more post in October on not worrying about looking foolish while exercising, because I do look pretty silly in both dance and yoga.  But... that's OK!

Have you ever had a change of perspective or revelation about your exercise routine?

The Doctor Says What? How an "M.D." After One's Name Doesn't Necessarily Mean "Infallible."

My Thesaurus Thursday this week was a sort of sneak preview to my post today.  Like so many others, when I get sick or start to feel like something isn't quite "right" with my body, I tend to look online before heading to the doctor's office.  Unlike many people who do this though, I generally look up symptoms so that I can have a list of questions to ask my GP "in case of an emergency situation."  I generally don't panic and think I have some rare disease each time I get a cold with a few symptoms I don't usually experience.  I like to think that I'm savvy enough to know when the advice and information given online is factual and when it's complete nonsense, but nowadays it's very hard to tell.

... Words don't even describe how upset this article makes me. 

It doesn't even deserve a picture.

Most people with a throbbing headache on one side of their forehead have migraines, but type in the symptom, and you'll get millions of people asking "Do I have a brain tumor?" or "Am I having an aneurysm?"  I've found that doctors who answer questions online are not really helping the, for lack of a better description, hypochondriac culture that prevails on the internet.  And when something serious could be going on, but it's not within their expertise, they usually say, "This is generally not an issue," or go on to explain something that they do know, often insensitively and without regard for the feelings of the questioner.  

"Yeah, sure it'll hurt.  Not as much as getting the baby out, though, so tough noogies."

An example I found: one poor woman was told by her doctor that she had an STI when they tested her for a certain type of bacteria.  Her rambling question conjured up pictures of a young woman nearly in tears and on the verge of a breakdown because she was so certain both she and her husband had been faithful and had never been with anyone else before they met, and could she have gotten this any other way? The online doctor responded by saying that STI's are only spread through sexual activities, so either she or her husband must have contracted it, trying to "soften the blow" by saying "perhaps before the marriage."  After doing some research myself (and talking to a couple of my own doctors about it to make sure that I was on the right track), it became apparent that this type of bacteria is often spread through sexual activities but is not even a "true" STI, as it can also be passed by innocent skin-to-skin contact with a carrier or inhalation of the bacteria, such as when a carrier sneezes.  It can also pass through the placenta during prenatal development, so you can be born with it.  

So this "doctor" has now needlessly put it into this woman's head that she or her husband has either cheated or lied.  He ought to have done the research himself- she told him the bacteria- and reassured her that no, it could happen to anyone and is easily treatable.  "First do no harm" seems to go out the window when doctors start answering questions online.  I have seen doctors say that clearly life-disrupting symptoms are all in a patient's head (ever hear of tact?), that 1300 calories a day is a normal intake for a healthy woman, that you can't have PCOS unless you carry excess weight around your midsection, and make various other ridiculous claims, and they all have the letters "M.D." "Ph.D.", "RN" etc. after their names.  

What are you, crazy?

So please, doctors on the internet, if you are going to be no more helpful than the people who answer questions on Yahoo! Answers who go around telling poor unsuspecting people that getting a common UTI is a sure sign that your partner is cheating on you, please get off the internet.  There are plenty of reputable doctors, nurses, psychiatrists, and other health professionals out there who would be ashamed. 

"I'm Only Concerned About Your Health."

We postpone Thesaurus Thursday to bring you a letter.


Dear Only concerned about your health,

You said this when commenting on X's picture the other day, and there is something I've wanted to ask you:

Are you?

Are you actually so concerned about complete strangers' well-being?  If you are, I want to see that you've signed up to coach intramural soccer classes; that you make healthy bag lunches for the homeless; that you have taken direct action yourself to make other people's lives better (so dealing out any humiliation or condescension for your cause will discount these; they don't make lives better). Or, as is more likely, did you feel "safe" behind your computer screen and have the compulsion to comment because you did not like the way X looked, then try to justify publicizing the sentiment by adding the word "health"?  Are you worried about X driving up healthcare costs and actually only concerned about your wallet?  (I don't want to debate that here- what matters is whether you believe it).  Simply put, are you pushing your own agenda when telling X to lose weight?  Because if you are, you are not "only concerned about [X's] health."

Have you lost weight and feel great, or do you know someone else who feels great after weight loss, and you are so entrenched in your own happiness that you believe everyone else should feel the same way?  I think you do truly believe that you're doing the right thing, but telling others what to do because of your own personal experience is misguided.  As they say, "The plural of 'anecdote' is not 'data,'" (Brinner) it is 'anecdotes.'  Your/your cousin's/your friend's sister's boyfriend's situation will not necessarily apply to X.  You think that X will feel better after losing weight; this indicates that you assume X isn't already leading a fulfilling and active lifestyle, which is rather presumptuous on your part.  Also, because the weight-loss industry needs to be profitable, we are bombarded with the success stories and tend to forget that there are a lot of people who lose 20, 50, 100+ pounds, don't feel great, and wonder why emotional hangups and body image issues didn't disappear along with the weight.

Concerned, I think that you are not actually concerned.  You never take the time to get to know anything else about X's lifestyle after telling X that she is fat and should lose weight "for her health."  You never inquire about physical endurance, percent muscle mass, blood work ups, or cardiovascular tests.  You simply take it for granted that a doctor has found high blood pressure, clogged arteries and a failing heart, or signs that these will eventually occur, in X.  Assuming something about the internal workings- physical or emotional- of another person based on that person's looks alone has a name.   It's called stereotyping and is a form of prejudice.

For argument's sake, let's say that X does lose weight because of you and is very physically healthy in the end but develops such an obsession with counting calories that it interferes with daily activities and makes it hard for her to maintain friendships.  Will you be calling X out and saying, "I'm only concerned about your mental health," then?

I somehow don't think that you will.

Sincerely,
Only concerned about your conscience.