Thesaurus Thursday: "Loquacious."

Today's word is "loquacious," an adjective meaning "talkative or chatty."

I am not a loquacious person in real life, preferring to silently process information, even though my blog might give the impression that I am naturally expansive.

What is this strange device?

Thesaurus Thursday: "Gelastic"/Fit & Active October.

Today's word and segue into short Fit & Active October post is "gelastic," and adjective meaning "laughable."

A very uncoordinated person joining a dance class for exercise might seem gelastic, and in many ways it actually is; you just have to learn to laugh at yourself.

I mentioned in my last post that when deciding on classes to take at the Y, I resolved to only continue ones I enjoyed.  One that stuck out to me on the schedule was Dance Blast.  I thought perhaps because I sometimes turn music up very loud and jump around to it in my kitchen (Um, never mind.  I don't do that at all.  Ever.  I swear.), it might be something I'd enjoy.

Like this. Only different.

What I didn't realize is that the classes don't methodically lay out all the steps for you, even when doing new songs.  More difficult steps might get a brief introduction, but for the most part the instructor just jumps right in, and you follow along.  So during my first class, I was completely lost, oh, about 50% of the time.  That said, when the class ended, I was hot, sweaty, exhausted, and happy about it. I've never been happy about exercising in my life.  But to enjoy myself, I had to focus not on how much I was messing up the steps but on how much more fun it was to move my body around to the music than to simply listen to it while pedaling a stationary bike or running on a treadmill.  I found out that my body doesn't particularly like monotony.  Which was rather surprising considering that I am normally all about routine and habit.

I also had to realize that no one was focusing on me.  Everyone was busy with their own dancing; it wasn't a competition.  When I did look around to see if I could follow someone nearer to me than the instructor, I noticed that many people weren't perfect.  Some knew the choreography better than others, and some knew it perfectly, and some hardly did the same dance at all, but everyone was dancing without any apparent self-consciousness.  I've gotten better at following along each time I've been, but I'll still never be a great dancer.  It doesn't matter, though.  I'm getting a workout and having fun, and no one is judging me for not being perfect.

So here are some thoughts to take away from this: if you're ever nervous about varying your exercise routine, remember that you'll never know how much you'll enjoy another activity until you try.  And always, always remember that it's OK not to be perfect.  It's your workout, no one else's.

Oh, and sometimes laughing makes exercise even more fun.

Fit & Active October: Changing My Perspective.

Last year, a group of bloggers organized "Fit and Active September."  At that point, I wasn't ready to participate in any fitness-related group activities (even blogging), so I am glad that Sophie over at Two Cakes on a Plate decided to bring it back for October 2014.  You see, in the past, talking about health has sent me on a downward spiral.  I've always had a very disordered relationship with food and exercise.  Whenever I started eating healthfully or going to the gym, my motivation was always simply to be thin enough, because I thought being thin was expected of people in order to be accepted... and, to be honest, in many cases it is, which is part of the problem; expecting a certain appearance from people doesn't help them stay healthy or lose weight (if weight loss is what they actually need to achieve for health.  You can't know that for sure if you don't observe their daily habits, and unless you're living with them, doing so would be, um, creepy and probably illegal?).

I had an eating disorder in college, and although it never got to the point of hospitalization or feeding tubes, it drastically affected the way I viewed exercise.  Exercise was for burning calories. It started out as an activity to burn calories from the burger, fries, and coke I had for dinner last night.  Then it turned into burning calories from that sandwich I had for lunch.  Then I needed to burn calories from the 2 egg whites and half a turkey sausage I ate for breakfast.  It was so exhausting that I finally decided simply not to consume more than 1000 calories a day.  I was proud of myself when they added up to 800, devastated if I ever had a day that came close to 1500.

Exercise was a chore that only indicated when I'd done something bad to deserve it.  And (full disclosure) it never occurred to me to think about it any other way until only recently.  One reason I began this blog was in the hopes that I could help people from falling into the same spiral of guilt, shame, and body hatred with which I've struggled.  I never imagined that it would open me up to a community of wonderful, vibrant women and men who can balance being body positive with trying to be healthy on their own terms.  They've all had their struggles and setbacks, but I've been encouraged by their attitudes to think of exercise not in terms of calories burned or even in terms of how it makes my body look, but in terms of how it makes my body strong.  How it helps aches and pains and endurance and posture.

I decided to get a Y membership and only do exercise that I enjoyed.  I promised myself that if it felt too much like work, I would find something else.  That isn't to say I wouldn't extend my limitations and push myself at all; I just wouldn't allow exercise to become my job.  I felt dread when I thought about returning to do the elliptical.  I found lifting weights monotonous.  Pilates was OK, but I knew I needed to build up a bit of strength first in order to really reap the benefits of it. Finally, I went to yoga one day and a dance class the next.  And when the time for yoga and then the time for dance came around again, I was excited about going.  I love almost any and all music, and dancing around to it makes getting my heart rate up fun rather than grueling.  With yoga, I've already seen a significant decrease in back pain, and I can use my abdominal muscles to hold me up without slouching (much) without it hurting.  My weight and outward appearance haven't changed, at least noticeably, but I feel good.

I'm planning on doing one more post in October on not worrying about looking foolish while exercising, because I do look pretty silly in both dance and yoga.  But... that's OK!

Have you ever had a change of perspective or revelation about your exercise routine?

Thesaurus Thursday: "Discombobulated."

Today's word is "discombobulated," an adjective meaning "bewildered" or "disconcerted."

The fact that it is Friday and not Thursday leaves me discombobulated and wondering where the time went.  

Thesaurus Thursday: "Pandemonium."

Hey everyone!  Today's word is "pandemonium," a noun meaning "disorder, confusion, or chaos."

If there were no teachers looking out for kids during recess, there might be complete pandemonium.

Thesaurus Thursday: "Adversity."

Today's word is "adversity," a noun meaning "hardship" or "misfortune."

When your bra size changes, it can be difficult to triumph over adversity and find new bras that fit.

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When your body size and/or shape changes for whatever reason, be it hormonal, through intentional or unintentional weight gain/loss, pregnancy, or exercise, it's easy to let clothes (especially bras) not fitting get to you.  Having bras that don't fit can even become painful.  I've been struggling with some health issues, and that and changes in exercise routine have drastically affected my bra size, even though my body hasn't changed much in weight or appearance.  It's easy to get overwhelmed when you know you need new bras but have no idea what size or brand or shape.  It feels like starting from square one all over again.

After doing a lot of research on Bratabase, I took the plunge and ordered three new bras, and I'm crossing my fingers that they'll fit when they arrive, because even though the measurements "match" my own, sizing isn't an exact science.  Measurements alone may or may not accurately or precisely determine one's size. I can exchange them, but honestly, finding a perfect fit can be exhausting and sometimes pricey.  Do you ever get frustrated with bra buying?  Is there anything that would make it easier for you?  

Boobs and Being Seen (Another Rant).

I don't have kids yet, but I am planning on breastfeeding if I do.  If I can't, I will still feed and care for my baby to the best of my ability.  I know women who chose not to breastfeed who loved and raised their kids just as well as any breastfeeding mothers.  I'm already tired of "mommy wars," and I'm not even a part of them yet!  The point is, it's a very personal and often difficult decision whether or not to breastfeed, and some women don't even get that choice due to previous health problems, surgeries, etc.  I firmly believe that most moms know if they're making the best choices for their circumstances and that people, for the most part, know when they succeed, when they fail, and when they make mistakes.  We should certainly give everyone all the facts and encourage each other to make good decisions, but good decisions aren't the same for everyone.

Breastfeeding moms are simultaneously told that they're making a good decision and told that they can't breastfeed much of the time.  Bottle-feeding moms are harassed for everything from "not giving their baby adequate nutrition" to "feeding their baby poison."  What is wrong with people?  I want to live in a world where breastfeeding and bottle-feeding are both respected, rather than a world where bottle-feeding mothers are constantly put down and breastfeeding mothers desperately try to find private nooks and maneuver into uncomfortable positions (for themselves and their babies) that won't offend anyone.  Yes, breast milk has, according to many sources, the best combination of nutrients for newborns, infants, and toddlers. Many organizations, parenting classes, doctors and midwives strongly support breastfeeding.  That doesn't mean that babies who don't receive breast milk will turn out unhealthy, unhappy, or anything of the sort.  There are more factors in a child's development.  I would, however, like society to stop stigmatizing breastfeeding in public and making it more difficult in practice than bottle-feeding, especially if they're going to hypocritically sing its praises in general.

What do you mean you were feeding your baby?

You could have been seen!

When people notice* a breastfeeding mother in public, there is inevitably a storm of questions and often even a media frenzy.  It's ridiculous. 

Does she know we can see her?
Why can't she do that in the bathroom?
Why didn't she pump?
Shouldn't this be private?
Why can't she do that at home?  
Does she know people can see her boob?
Why can't she use a sheet?
Can't she supplement with formula?
Aren't boobs for sex?
Does she know she's making me uncomfortable?

Let me answer those questions with some questions of my own.

Do other people exist?
Do you regularly take your meals into public bathrooms to enjoy them? 
Have you ever desperately tried to extract toothpaste from a nearly-empty tube and failed, giving up because you have other things to do?
Do you shut yourself in a closet to eat?
Do you like getting out of the house?  Do you sometimes go places that aren't close by your house?
Isn't the baby's head in the way of your view, or are you trying to watch?
(Seriously, can you even see anything in most of these pictures?)
Do you sometimes get hot, sticky and sweaty under blankets?
Do you have certain foods that you avoid for health reasons or because they upset your stomach?
Do you understand basic biology and anatomy?
Do you know why you're so uncomfortable?

My opinion is that it should only be "rude" or "inappropriate" to breastfeed when it would also be "rude" or "inappropriate" to bottle-feed... in other words, at places or events which you shouldn't bring kids to in the first place.  At your company's fancy holiday dinner party. At someone's "adults only" wedding. At a venue that has age restrictions.  If you want to go to a nice restaurant, but you know it's usually full of couples on romantic nights out, and you've rarely seen a kid under the age of 12, much less a baby, perhaps then it would more considerate to others to go elsewhere or stay in.

But it isn't practical or possible for women to stay home all the time, even stay-at-home moms. You never hear about people telling a bottle-feeding mom that she should have stayed home when she starts feeding her wailing baby in a casual restaurant. They see a hungry baby and a mother who quickly attends to the baby's needs. Ironically, they would probably complain if the baby kept crying because he/she was hungry and the mom couldn't breastfeed at that time.  People can be irrational jerks like that.

Personally, I wouldn't sit down shoulder-to-shoulder with a stranger or even very close to another person and start breastfeeding, but that's because I don't like sitting shoulder-to-shoulder with anyone and think it's important to respect personal space. Growing up with social anxiety and a touch of claustrophobia, I'd hate to put others in positions that would make me uncomfortable were I in their place.  But I'd like to be able to go out for coffee, and if my baby starts getting cranky, I'd like to be able to feed him/her in a timely fashion without fear of public shaming.  Is that too much to ask?



*I am almost 100% sure that there have been moms who have breastfed in public without anyone even noticing, much less making a big deal out of it.  It's as if people who protest are actively looking for reasons to be offended.